We just have to accept the fact that we’re now in an era where the game of sustainable-over-the-generations survival and procreation are played by entirely different rules. BUT…the one thing we humans are good at is figuring things out. That means anticipating what may happen in the far future and disciplining ourselves to achieve the best result. Unfortunately, 9 times out of 10, we use the phrase “human nature” to mean “our base animal instincts”. Therefore, to say that we can’t help ourselves in this regard is to imply we have no more capacity for choosing our own destiny than wild animals do. This is insulting ourselves, to say the least.

78filrabat December 28, 2010 at 10:23 pm
I meant to say “where the game of sustainable-over-the-generations survival and procreation operate by entirely different rules”.
My apologies for the error.

79Kurt December 28, 2010 at 11:51 pm
Jess, I don’t doubt that you and other women typically find a man to more attractive at age 30 than you would have found the exact same man when he was at age 20.

Men, on the other hand, place more emphasis on physical beauty than women do. You might know a “few tricks in the sack” at age 40 than you would have at age 20 yourself. However, most men don’t really care that much if their sexual partner is relatively inexperienced and actually most men would prefer to marry a somewhat sexually inexperienced women instead of a highly experienced woman.

The vast majority of men think that women in their mid-20s are far more physically desirable than women who are closer to 40. I defy you to find one reputable survey contrary to this.

A single man who is 40 years old might settle down with a 40 year old woman if that is the best woman he thinks he can get and who will be loyal to him. However, I honestly think that most single 40 year old men would prefer to settle down with a 30 year old woman or even younger if they thought that they could get one who would stay loyal.

80Jess December 29, 2010 at 12:34 am
To filbabat,
Great post. Well put and I concur. We should take responsibility for our actions and be mindful of consequences. Regardless of urges.


I'm with you Dee-Marie, I find spankings too funny and I have a pain disorder so being actually hurt is a no-no for me as it has effects that are debilitating for days after ... but I do like it intensely when my Man uses his strength to overcome me. Erotically we like to play with my "smallness" and his power over that. We fool around like overgrown kids: poking, tickling, chasing, grabbing, I like to fight back, we like to wrestle and at some point he stops it all so easily I realise that he hasn't even come close to using the extent of his strength. He holds my wrists and presses me to him, or traps me against something etc ... melting-Aimee. It does hurt minimally, but the whole point is that I am playing with his power and he plays back with me - up to a point, then I can see/feel/smell him for what he is and I am thoroughly-trustingly-afraid, acutely aware of the differences between our sexes and very turned on!

And I'm with you on the wall punching too. We generally just talk a lot if we disagree and if he wants me to stop a line he is manly-firm. We don't really have heated arguments (bizarre for me). But in an enraged situation my estimation of my Man is thus - walking away is weak, hurting my body is weak but showing me how much is going on inside without abandoning me or destroying me, just letting it out on a wall ... that's strength. Then I get a view of his true inside status and can adjust accordingly. I am a talker though, so my submission at that point is to listen attentively and try to find where our communication is going awry then change tack.

I wonder if he and I are not somewhat different to most here in that we switch top and bottom roles according to whose/which domain we are operating in. As such, I find that I erotically need his physically intimidating dominance more than I ever did in those past relationships where the male was always asserting dominance over me in all domains. (The wall-punching was not ok for me then.) And interestingly now I think about it, we do argue very rarely. I wonder if that is not because (1) we are not engaged in everyday struggles for power and (2) he is not generally dominating so if I am spinning out in an argument and he does get firm, then I tend to listen up quickly. Just thinking aloud.

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